After turning 39, I reflect on what this decade has taught me

At the beginning of September, I turned 39. As I enter the last year of my 30s, I feel both gratitude and resolve.

Since I was diagnosed with Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) a few weeks before my 26th birthday, it is safe to say that the condition has been a big part of my 30s, especially given its progressively degenerative nature.

At the time of my 30th birthday, my husband and I had moved to our second home in a beautiful suburb of Austin, Texas, and had a nearly 3-year-old son and a 4-month-old daughter.

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My 30s have been a wonderful journey of parenting two young children, developing new and deepening friendships, growing my relationship with my husband, and creating cherished memories during vacations, events, celebrations, milestones, and so much more.

I have absolutely loved this decade and feel so blessed to embark on my final year of this chapter. That’s not to say that my 30s have been a blissful parade of joy with no hardship, though. I don’t know a single person who has lived an entire decade without trying moments.

Throughout my personal journey with FA, I’ve experienced my share of hills and deep valleys.

A decade of hardships — and blessings

When I was 30, I obliterated my ankle and endured an intense reconstructive surgery and recovery. At 31, I decided to start using a walker to improve my balance and underwent my first major cross-country clinical trial. At 32, spasticity and nerve pain entered my life. When I was 34, life was disrupted by the COVID-19 pandemic.

At 35, my mobility service dog joined our family, and I sustained a foot fracture. At 36, I reached the end of my “preschool mom” era, as both of my children were school-aged. At 37, I acquired a mobility scooter because a manual walker was no longer sufficient for keeping me safe when walking long distances or traversing rough terrain. This past year, at 38, I fractured my femur, nose, and fibula, and transitioned to using a wheelchair full time as a result.

I have jokingly told a few people that my goal is to make it to 40 without needing another X-ray. I am doing everything in my power to achieve that goal without letting fear or injury rule my life.

My family and I have many exciting plans for the year ahead, and I aim to have my FA accommodate those plans rather than adjust them to accommodate my FA.

I am proud of the resilience, patience, acceptance, grit, grace, and humor that my 30s have taught me, even if I initially resisted those lessons because of stubborn pride or resentment of FA. I am proud of all that my disability has forced me to overcome, and relieved to say that my joy is genuine. Yes, FA has brought countless hardships and changed how I experience life in more ways than I can fathom, but that doesn’t diminish my overflowing blessings.

I plan to roll into my 40s with a healthy respect for FA and the lessons it has taught me, and I hope others can learn from my experiences.

“… his compassion never ends. It is only the Lord’s mercies that have kept us from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his loving-kindness begins afresh each day.” — Lamentations 3:22-23

Note: Friedreich’s Ataxia News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Friedreich’s Ataxia News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Friedreich’s ataxia.