How people of different ages tend to react to my mobility aids
As I adapt to my progressive FA, my observers' responses seem to change, too
As my battle with Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) and my progressively diminishing physical abilities — primarily balance, coordination, dexterity, and energy — wages on relentlessly, I’m forced to adapt. While I’m used to depending on mobility aids, as I’ve done since February 2019, I often notice the reactions of others who aren’t so accustomed to them.
When I use a four-wheel rollator, for instance, young children seem to have the most predictable reactions. I can see their little minds trying to categorize what they’re seeing. Almost without fail, they look around my walker as if it’s a stroller, but they don’t see a baby, or where a baby would go. Then their eyes travel to my knees and ankles, looking for a brace or walking cast, thinking that perhaps my walker is temporary to aid in my recovery.
At this point, they usually look at me with questioning eyes. Depending on the situation — which might involve a child I’m passing, a child of an acquaintance, a curious child who asks their grown-up about me, or a bold child who simply asks me, “What’s that?” — I try my hardest to react with gentle kindness.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m a mom of young children myself or if it’s just part of my approach to raising awareness about rare disabilities, but I’m almost always happy to interact with children and answer their questions. I want to normalize disabilities for the next generation, and I have a prayerful hope that having a memory of “that nice disabled lady” can help shape their perceptions of people with physical challenges or limitations.
Things have changed
It’s adults who have the less predictable reactions.
Some adults embarrass me by giving me a wide berth and side eyes, like I’m in danger of injuring myself or others, while others are so unaware of their surroundings that they bump into me.
It’s also interesting to see and hear the different reactions to whichever mobility aid I’m using. When I use my three-wheel rollator, most strangers simply smile at me or comment that they’ve “never seen a sleek, three-wheel walker.” When I use my four-wheel rollator, strangers are usually a bit more wary, and I don’t know whether it’s because my walker takes up more space or because it’s something they’re more used to seeing. Whichever it is, my general rule of thumb, to react with kindness, remains.
When I’ve used my mobility scooter, I’ve yet to have an outing without one of three reactions from strangers: “Man, that’s what I need,” “Sweet ride,” or “Can I have a ride?” I almost always respond with a polite smile or small chuckle.
When I use my manual wheelchair, strangers and acquaintances alike look at me with concern, as if using it means that I’m likely injured. I now have a power wheelchair, which I’ve only used a handful of times in public. The adults’ responses seem to fall more in line with my scooter outings, mixed with envy and admiration since the chair is pretty sleek and relatively unique.
No matter what reactions my disability receives, I’m constantly aware of two pieces of advice.
One day in 2021, while in Atlanta before flying home to Texas, I was sitting in a designated handicapped chair in the preboarding area, my walker beside me with my carry-on roller bag perched on top. When a Southwest Airlines agent who was checking boarding passes told me, “Ma’am, this is the preboarding area,” I replied, “Yes, I am preboard. I am disabled and use this walker right here.” I showed her the preboarding designation on my boarding pass, and she sweetly said, “Sweetie, you don’t owe me or anyone an explanation of your abilities. Your boarding pass is all I need to see.”
I don’t know why I felt compelled to qualify my preboarding designation that day, but I think about that kind lady often. She affected my outlook on life. While I don’t feel I must explain to everyone my FA or how I adapt, I’m often happy to do so.
The other advice I try to live by is from 1 Corinthians 16:13-14: “Be careful. Hold firmly to your faith. Have courage and be strong. Do everything in love.” I truly believe that kindness matters, and I want to make the world a nicer place for everyone, regardless of ability.
What notable reactions have you received due to your mobility aids? Please share in the comments below.
Note: Friedreich’s Ataxia News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Friedreich’s Ataxia News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Friedreich’s ataxia.
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Linda Johnson
Exactly! And I agree with the kindness rebuttal! I don’t want the disabled to get a bad rap!