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Saying Goodbye is Never Easy
This month I wrote a farewell article for FA News. I have been a columnist since February 2021. As I have previously mentioned, my husband passed away in June, and even though I do plan to stay on as a forum moderator, I decided that I would have to stop writing columns.
Goodbyes are hard, especially when they are unexpected. My husband passed very suddenly, and I didn’t get to say goodbye to him.
I do want to offer hope that even when things end, there can still be good things ahead. Grief is definitely my lifelong partner, as it is for many of you who have loved ones who have passed away or live with FA each day.
How do you deal with goodbyes? What things have brought unexpected hope in your life?
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6 Replies
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Dear Katie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I will miss your columns.
I have had to face many losses, and I don’t think goodbyes are ever enough. It doesn’t matter how much you say goodbye or how often. The pain will always be there, and it will be excruciating. Your entire world will turn upside down, and at first you will be paralyzed and unable to move, just cry. But eventually, you will start reacting and searching for other ways of being, creating a new order around the void, without ever filling it. Just learning how to live without it. Missing it always. Knowing that you have no other choice but to try to find meaning and happiness without it.
Focusing on my daughter helped me. And on my students. Focusing on their concerns and helping them achieve their goals.
Katie, I am so so sorry. Lots and lots of hugs.
Karina
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Thank you, Karina, for your kind words!
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Katie ,
ho perso mio marito per un infarto il giorno dopo Natale 2010, quando avevo 48 anni e un figlio di 14 anni completamente sola perché la famiglia era ed é tuttora lontana. Dopo 6 anni mi hanno diagnosticato AF ….subito non mi sono resa conto a cosa sarei andata incontro.
Ora sono qui con peggioramenti lenti ma costanti , cammino solo con il deambulatore ma vivo , faccio tutto quello che riesco e sono serena . Il tempo aiuta , la fede aiuta , la voglia di vivere aiuta , gli amici sono preziosi . Ce la farai , all’inizio é dura , sei disorientata , spaventata , devastata poi la scintilla riaccende la luce e permettiti di ricominciare a vivere.
Iaia
Partially translated via google translate: My husband had a heart attack during the year of Natale 2010, when I was 48 years old and I was 14 years old completely alone because my family was in London.
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I’m sorry for your loss, Manu!
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I will miss your columns, but I am so glad that you will still be a moderator!
Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time everyday ❤
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Thank you, Christina! ❤️
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