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My older sister was my best friend. When my ataxia reared its ugly head, she mistook it for an attempt to take the center stage. As a middle child, one is often ignored. Anyways, she was mean to me, and a huge gulf still exists between us. She doesn’t get it, has put me down so much out of complete ignorance, and is too busy to see me more than 4 times a year even though we live 10 minutes away. Then my younger brother had similar symptoms, that quadrupled in time in comparison to mine, and my father was horrible with him. So I was never the center. My family moved around so much, we lost touch with almost every friend we had while growing up. Like my brother, I do not have a best friend. It’s incredibly difficult to make time for others when one is running so much to make up for one’s FA, and when normal people are so incredibly busy. When one has FA, you just have to be so incredibly selfish with one’s time. There is also the problem of knowing you ares a burden, and believing that others would just not be interested. But my daughters and my students are beginning to surprise me.
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After over 25 years of friendship my closest friend and her husband decided not to invite me to her birthday party. I found out about it after I saw photos on social media. They say it’s because I don’t drink or dance. I think it is because I am in a wheelchair. Over the years we have been to wine-tasting parties, pool parties, Oktoberfest parties… They are not upset but will not talk to me. I think they should have invited me, I would have gone just to get out. What else should I do or should I wait for them to reach out?
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