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Closest and/or best friends
Great friendships come and go throughout our lives but we all have that constant friend who sticks by our side no matter what.
How is your relationship with your best friend? Does FA affect you in anyway with your friendship? How did they take the news?
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10 Replies
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My best friend at the time, dropped me like I was a bag of garbage. Hurts like hell, but it needs out those who aren’t genuinely there for you & shows you who is. My circle is very small now. I don’t let people in so easily anymore.
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My older sister was my best friend. When my ataxia reared its ugly head, she mistook it for an attempt to take the center stage. As a middle child, one is often ignored. Anyways, she was mean to me, and a huge gulf still exists between us. She doesn’t get it, has put me down so much out of complete ignorance, and is too busy to see me more than 4 times a year even though we live 10 minutes away. Then my younger brother had similar symptoms, that quadrupled in time in comparison to mine, and my father was horrible with him. So I was never the center. My family moved around so much, we lost touch with almost every friend we had while growing up. Like my brother, I do not have a best friend. It’s incredibly difficult to make time for others when one is running so much to make up for one’s FA, and when normal people are so incredibly busy. When one has FA, you just have to be so incredibly selfish with one’s time. There is also the problem of knowing you ares a burden, and believing that others would just not be interested. But my daughters and my students are beginning to surprise me.
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After over 25 years of friendship my closest friend and her husband decided not to invite me to her birthday party. I found out about it after I saw photos on social media. They say it’s because I don’t drink or dance. I think it is because I am in a wheelchair. Over the years we have been to wine-tasting parties, pool parties, Oktoberfest parties… They are not upset but will not talk to me. I think they should have invited me, I would have gone just to get out. What else should I do or should I wait for them to reach out?
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That’s so hard, Christina! If they know that it hurt your feelings, I’m not sure what else you can do. I’m so sorry!
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I am so sorry, Christina! I know how it feelstp be left out or feel “unseen”.
I would definitely let them know how you feel and say what could be done better for the future.
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I did reach out. The Husband apologized to my husband but not to me. Knowing him, that’s all I’ll get.
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My best friend didn’t change a bit after the news. We still hang out like always, they just help out more with stairs or carrying stuff. It’s about sticking to the routine.
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I have a best friend like that too and it’s important to never let that kind of friendship go!
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90% of my friends have been great with FA. Emotionally understanding, helpful with loading and unloading my walker, and still including me in everything. I had this one friend that I hungout with in college (I did not use a mobility aid back then). I went to my college town and visited her after I graduated. I had a mobility aid for the first time around her. She LEFT ME at a bar by myself for 30 minutes to “quickly” say hi to a friend. I walked so much that night because of her and she did not care that I was struggling to keep up. I never talked to her again. That has been my only bad experience. Everyone is normally so helpful and inclusive with my FA.
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There’s unforuntely always going to be that one friend or family member who just doesn’t understand the concept of FA! I am glad to hear you have such positive friendships though!
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