Putting mind over matter minimizes FA’s impact on my life
How I recognized a problem with my longtime mantra
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Lately, I’ve noticed a word used very frequently in casual conversations. It can have multiple meanings, depending on the context, but in my case, as someone living with visible differences, it seems to imply a problem.
In public, I’ll hear kids ask their parents, “What’s the matter with her legs?”
If I’m not overly smiley and chipper, my family will ask, “What’s the matter?”
And I often repeat to myself, “Mind over matter.”
Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) is the “matter.” It is a progressively degenerative disease that causes a variety of symptoms and demands many physical, mental, and emotional adjustments. The “matter” most people see is simply me doing my best to live with FA.
It all matters
This summer, “mind over matter” has become a forced mantra for me, and I’ve been reflecting on what that looks like in practice.
At the end of June, I suffered a fall that resulted in a fractured fibula. It has been inconvenient, to say the least. Because I can’t bear weight on that leg during recovery, and am not coordinated enough to use crutches, I depend on my husband for almost everything.
It became incredibly apparent during our beach vacation in mid-July, when I was away from the adaptations, accessibility aids, and adjustments that give me more independence in life with FA.
I was asked so many times, “How are you doing this vacation with a broken leg?” Every time, I’d reply, “Mind over matter.”
Repeating it so often made me reevaluate the word “matter.” I realized that, regardless of how mentally tough I am, my experiences matter. My feelings and mental health matter. The thoughts that pop into my head when I am strapped into an aisle chair and wheeled down the entire length of an airplane matter. The way I feel when people stare at me in confusion when my husband carries me across the beach to my lounger matters. The way my heart aches to simply walk on the beach looking for shells with my children matters.
I realized I was using that mantra to minimize the power of those feelings. In declaring my mental grit, I was refusing to let them matter.
Therefore, I need a new saying that doesn’t imply that the things weighing on my mind don’t matter; I just want to be intentional about what I focus on, as prioritizing things gives them power.
FA matters. Its effect on my life matters. But what matters more to me is what fulfills me and adds to my life. So I choose to focus on that.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.” — Philippians 4:8
Note: Friedreich’s Ataxia News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Friedreich’s Ataxia News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Friedreich’s ataxia.
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