The lifetime evolution of my definition of strength

What pops into your mind when you hear the word “strength”?

I’m guessing that your answer will be based on the people around you. Anyone who was a child in the 1980s and ’90s will likely think about the Arnold Schwarzeneggers, Hulk Hogans, and Tom Cruises who filled the movies and TV shows of my youth and point to them as an immediate idea of “strength.”

I grew up in a traditional American Dream household. To me, my dad embodied the real-life, non-Hollywood picture of strength. In my eyes, he could lift anything, open anything, fix anything, and help with anything.

As I got older, I realized that big muscles and an adept mastery of physical feats weren’t the only displays of strength. While I still view my dad as a pillar of strength, I realize that he’s not only strong physically, but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. While a lot of that is just because of who he is, I also think it’s because of his upbringing and intentional choices.

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It takes strength to endure FA and life’s unforeseen challenges

One of the best choices he made was marrying my mom and building a life with her. My mom is one of the most mentally and emotionally strong people I know, and together they’ve weathered countless storms and come out even stronger.

In 2013, one of the most unpredictable storms imaginable blew their way. Their healthy, 25-year-old daughter was diagnosed with the progressively debilitating neurological condition Friedreich’s ataxia (FA).

Now it was my turn to show strength.

Finding my own strength

While I did everything in my power to retain the physical strength and ability that FA was slowly taking from me, I knew I’d need to rely on the other forms of strength that had been modeled for me and encouraged all my life — especially if I wanted to be able to not only endure the physical challenges that were now my destiny, but to also truly enjoy my life.

It’s been a relentless journey of discovering the ways my physical strength fails at every turn, and then logically, emotionally, and determinedly embracing the adaptations required to keep going. This FA journey demands an inexhaustible reserve of resilience.

That resilient strength looks different on different days. Sometimes it means sitting at my computer and writing my weekly column despite the pain from throwing my neck out by sleeping wrong. Sometimes it means smiling and walking away when the woman who’s temporarily (and illegally) parked in the lined-off access aisle beside my accessible spot apologizes for blocking my door, knowing that my children were watching my reaction. Sometimes it means braving the elements to cheer on my son at his baseball game even though it’s 38 degrees outside.

And sometimes it’s graciously accepting it when people call me “strong,” even when I don’t feel that way at all.

As I’ve suggested, there are different ways to be strong. Different situations call for different types of strength, and that strength must be developed and exercised over time. It’s OK to be frustrated by your failing physical strength. That’s when you have to depend on your other strengths.

One commonly quoted Bible verse, Philippians 4:13, reads as follows: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I can do all things! I can do hard things, scary things, new things, challenging things, intimidating things, brave things, demanding things. So can you.

Note: Friedreich’s Ataxia News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Friedreich’s Ataxia News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Friedreich’s ataxia.