‘I can do all things,’ even with Friedreich’s ataxia
FA may limit my abilities, but there's still much I can do
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After 13 years with Friedreich’s ataxia (FA), a progressive and degenerative disease, I face a growing list of things I can no longer do.
That said, thanks to various mobility aids, there is much I still can do. My path to doing many tasks looks very different from that of my healthy peers, and my participation is deeply limited, but I can find ways to attend, witness, contribute to, and enjoy most things.
With a diagnosis like FA, I am forced to accept the reality that my remaining abilities will slowly deteriorate as the disease progresses. No matter how stubbornly I try to hold on to my abilities, FA forces me to hold them loosely and constantly reevaluate my dreams versus my reality.
The fact that my limited abilities will soon be even more limited is overwhelming to process and weighs heavily on me. FA often feels unfair, but this knowledge has prompted me to evaluate how to move forward.
The way I see it, I have a few options. I can ignore the reality of my declining abilities and just live in the moment; I can accept defeat and speed up the timeline of becoming completely disabled; or I can let that timeline motivate me to get the most out of my body at whatever stage of progression I’m at.
A popular Scripture is Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I have recently found myself pondering that verse and wrestling with the meaning.
After dealing with three separate FA-related falls, resulting bone fractures, and cumbersome recoveries that left me bedridden, I have decided that I have no interest in bowing out. I will approach life by saying “yes,” even if I’m thinking, somewhat darkly, “I might as well say ‘yes’ while I can.”
After establishing that thought pattern, I was approached with an exciting albeit intimidating offer. I was asked to fill in as a long-term substitute for the third- and fourth-grade art teacher at my children’s school for the entire month of November.
While I was tempted to say, “Thanks, but no thanks,” a voice in my head kept reminding me of the “now or never” reality that my body is forcing upon me. So, after confirming which projects the students would work on for the month and realizing that these were tasks I could teach, I accepted the role.
Now that I’m a week into my new job, I realize how often I say, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” However, I think of it through the lens of my mentor, Fearless Mom founder Julie Richard.
When she refers to this verse, she reiterates two main points: First, “all” can be replaced by any word. For example, I can do hard things, new things, big, scary, exciting, intimidating, challenging, overwhelming, fun, and unexpected things. Then she reminds us that we can do those things “through Christ who strengthens me.”
I’m often asked how I keep up with everything and do it all with a smile on my face. This humbling question reminds me that if everything were left in my FA-riddled hands, I would not be where I am today. By accepting help from my friends, family, mobility aids, and creator, though, “I can do all things.”
Note: Friedreich’s Ataxia News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Friedreich’s Ataxia News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Friedreich’s ataxia.
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