Responding to unsolicited pity as someone with a disability

I recently had an unpleasant encounter with a stranger who was overflowing with pity regarding my disability. In the end, she questioned my abilities with what seemed to be judgment disguised as compassion. I had my 6-year-old daughter with me, so I was extremely intentional with my tone, body…

FA Gives Me a New Reason to Throw Myself a Pity Party

It’s not uncommon for me to throw myself pity parties. Living with Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) is a constant battle. I have to choose to be strong every moment of every day and to keep fighting for independence, normalcy, safety, and hope. It’s exhausting to maintain the defensive wall that…

I’ll Live With the Pity of Strangers and the Love of Loved Ones

I often think about the pity that is expressed to people with disabilities — people like me. I am an obviously disabled young woman, and my Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) is on full display, making me a regular recipient of unsolicited pity. Some people stop and stare, some whisper to…

How I Respond to Pity as a Friedreich’s Ataxia Patient

The word “pity” has a pretty negative connotation. I don’t know many people who seek pity or want to be pitiable. I certainly don’t aim to make people feel sorrow for my misfortunes. Yet, as I’ve become increasingly disabled by Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) since publicly announcing my diagnosis seven years…