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Online Dating
Is online dating a good option for those who have FA?
Has anyone tried it? Are you honest about FA? What kind of responses do you get?
Do you have a success story?
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9 Replies
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Agh, this is so tricky. Ive met some great people through Bumble and I think its because I have been upfront about me using a wheelchair. The pictures I have on my profile are a mixture of selfies and full-body shots in my chair and also me, standing. You avoid that dreaded conversation of feeling like your’e “breaking the news” and you skip people who would waste your time.
Being single and dating with FA is INSANE but doable. Just be honest from the get go
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Dude, Frankie, my next column is all about how I hate taking pictures of me in my wheelchair. I always crop it out! But I am working on taking a full-body picture in my chair…but I REALLY don’t want to. Thanks for kicking me in the butt!
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Personally I haven’t found anything lasting from online dating but I think that is a mixture of the girls in my area not being appealing to me and me immediately not being appealing to them. There are certain societal and chivalry standards the a man with FA simply can’t deliver and some women find it hard to accept that into their lives. They see us in a chair and they swipe left with the worst case scenario in mind. Though this is just my estimation. But the hardest thing I’ve had to come to terms with is that whether or not we include a picture of us in a wheelchair, we aren’t a paraplegic. There is often a hell of a lot more baggage to our disability. I’ve met people that are adaptable to the speech difficulties and reversed gender roles but I’ve also met quite a few people that couldn’t get on board.
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@pauldufrene, thanks for being so real. You are a lot braver than I am — I’m nervous to even try! So what’s the bottom line for you? Will you keep trying online dating or do you think it isn’t worth it?
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No I won’t continue online. I have to meet women in real life to begin with from now on. I feel like it is important that I meet them in person from the start. That way I know sooner whether or not we click on a human, emotional and conversational level. No time wasted on expectations and phony judgments.
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This plan is preferable to online dating for me…but I am also okay with being single. I’m sure my thoughts on this would change if I were in a hurry to find a girlfriend.
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I met my wife online.
It was very strange because she shouldn’t have even showed up because she wasn’t in my age range or in my distance range. But she did. She was up front and honest about everything and encouraged me to study up on fa.
After writing to each other for a while we started talking on the phone ( which was a challenge for me )
When we first met it was at her house with her two daughters which was nerve racking but I understood why.
Needless to say for me it was love at first sight. NO JOKE!!
Took her a few dates because she was just seriously stung by a piece of crap.
That first date I took her on scared the crap out of me . I had never handled anyone in a wheelchair before . I got her out of her wheelchair but couldn’t get her in the car seat. I felt like crap more than can be described. Luckily a neighbor came to our rescue . then I learned how to do it. I still do it even with a hernia.
Suprising how few people in hospitals know how to handle people in wheelchairs.
Been together ever since.-
I bet now you both laugh about how you didn’t even know how to put her in a car at first!
Thank you for sharing this.
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Funniest part for me now is that before I went to take her on that fist date . I practiced lifting a couple of people that were similar in size so I knew i could handle it. Found out real quick and in a hurry that it totally is not the same thing , lifting someone and moving them around like that. Wow!!!
Huh , just realized I don’t think I ever told her about me practicing on people before. It was embarrassing enough for the first time doing something like that. Don’t think it ever came up.
Sure enough she said she doesn’t remember me mentioning it before . she is sitting here laughing at me. Lol
Such an awsome smile she has!!!! Don’t get to see it as much anymore.
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