When I focus on what I can control, problems become opportunities
When I think I can't go forward, I look back at everything I've already done
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Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) is all-consuming. When I allow my experience with it to consume my thoughts, life with FA can seem like an insurmountable problem with no hope of rescue or normalcy.
Living with FA and its symptom progression is entirely beyond my control. So what can I do? I can focus on what I can control.
I can’t control my debilitating neurological fatigue, but I can control how I fuel my body, when I stop looking at my phone, and what time I go to bed. I can’t control my loss of balance and coordination, but I can control what devices I use to aid my mobility. I can’t control my weakness or neuropathic extremities, but I can control my determination to exercise. I can’t control the thoughts that pop into my head, but I can control what thought cycles I allow to take root and define my outlook.
In short, I can control my choices.
On not focusing on the obstacles
Author and speaker Sissy Goff calls anxiety “an overestimation of the problem and an underestimation of ourselves.” I have found this to be true in my life because my own anxiety spikes when I focus too heavily on the problems of living with FA.
FA presents an endless stream of problems and challenges. When I overestimate those problems, I create a toxic cycle in which I’m not able to see beyond them. This can make manageable, doable tasks seem unmanageable and undoable because I focus solely on the obstacles rather than the solutions.
If I focus on what I can control, I set myself up for wins by seeing problems as opportunities that can calm my anxiety and bring me a sense of accomplishment. From that, I can find peace beyond the circumstances FA imposes on me.
I am reminded of the song “My Help” by Josh Baldwin, who sings, “I lift my countenance/ Beyond the circumstance/ My feet are planted/ I won’t be shaken/ My God will always make a way.”
The countenance the song aims for is a calm look of mental composure. This has been a challenge for me: finding a way to keep going forward and tackle seemingly unshakeable problems. If I plant myself in truth, confidence, and determination, I know I can do this, and then do my best to continue onward and upward.
When I look at everything I’ve already adapted to and overcome with FA — becoming a mother despite my disability, recovering from a broken ankle, a broken foot, a fractured femur, learning to rely on the assistance of mobility aids, and more — I realize that I have already been tackling big problems, ever since my diagnosis in 2013. My symptoms have only gotten bigger and more complex, but this has made me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually stronger.
“I look up to the mountains — does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!” — Psalm 121:1-2
Note: Friedreich’s Ataxia News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Friedreich’s Ataxia News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Friedreich’s ataxia.
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