Finding humor and happiness in life with Friedreich’s ataxia
Laughter does not erase struggle, but it changes the way I carry it
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Recently, my sister Lisa asked me, “Why do you always write your column about sad things? You’re a happy person.” I had to think about that.
I think part of the answer is that I write about Friedreich’s ataxia (FA), the biggest and most ever-present challenge in my life. FA is hard on patients, families, loved ones, and communities. But Lisa is right. Although I have had my fair share of sadness, I am not a sad person.
My family loves to make me laugh with their dumb dad jokes. Even my service dog, Wendy, gets in on it by rolling around with her tongue hanging out. I love to laugh.
Whenever the emotion is available to me, I will make fun of FA. A couple of days ago, not for the first time, my husband, Dave, tried to give me a goodbye kiss, but I was wobbling around too much for him to land one on my lips. In my head, I pictured myself weaving around while he tried to catch me, and then he started weaving, too. It was ridiculous. I had to laugh.
I am not saying FA is funny. It is not. I am saying that I can still find funny moments in life with FA, and those moments help me cultivate happiness.
The value of laughter in my life
Humor does not erase struggle, but it changes the way I carry it. When I laugh at a ridiculous moment, I am not pretending that FA is easy or harmless. I am giving myself a little room to breathe inside something that can feel heavy. Laughter creates space between me and the problem. It reminds me that I am still a person with a personality, a family, a marriage, a dog, and a life — not just a diagnosis. I am defining myself; FA isn’t.
That space matters. If I treat every spilled drink, every fight to get my seatbelt into the slot, and every failed attempt to move gracefully as only evidence of loss, then FA gets to take more than my coordination. It gets to take my lightness, too.
But if I can look at the scene and think, “Well, that was absurd,” I take back a small piece of the day.
I don’t always succeed. Some moments are frustrating, painful, or scary, and they deserve to be felt honestly. Still, when humor is possible, it feels like opening a window in a room that has gotten too stuffy.
A happier life is not necessarily a life with fewer struggles. It may simply be a life where we have learned to meet those struggles with more tools. Humor is one of mine. It softens embarrassment. It invites other people in. When Dave and I laugh together at the missed kiss, the moment becomes ours instead of FA’s. When my family teases me with a bad joke, or Wendy acts like a clown, I am reminded that joy can live right next to difficulty. They do not cancel each other out. They coexist, and sometimes they even hold hands.
Humor also keeps me humble in a good way. It helps me stop demanding that life look dignified all the time. So much of being human is messy, awkward, and unpredictable, whether someone has FA or not. Laughing at the mess does not mean we are laughing at ourselves cruelly. It means we are choosing kindness over shame. It means saying, “This is hard, and I am still allowed to enjoy my life.”
That is why I want to keep looking for the funny parts. Not because everything is funny, but because laughter helps me stay open to happiness. It turns a struggle into a story, a mishap into a shared memory, and a hard day into something with at least one bright corner. If I can keep finding those corners, even in a life shaped by FA, then I can still live with warmth, perspective, and joy.
Lisa, this one’s for you.
Note: Friedreich’s Ataxia News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Friedreich’s Ataxia News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Friedreich’s ataxia.
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