Don’t let negative thoughts become negative core beliefs
Just because you think something doesn't mean that it's true
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Have you ever had a thought pattern become an unshakable way of thinking about yourself?
A few months ago, I grew sensitive about my speech. I was convinced that my Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) had become overpoweringly obvious and taken away my ability to speak intelligibly, and my confidence took a dive.
In recent years, I’ve found that I must be very intentional and careful when I speak, and that extra effort is tiresome. When I asked my neurologist about it, he said, “Yes, your speech is affected. You speak more slowly than the average 38-year-old, but you speak clearly, and I can understand everything you are saying. I bet anyone else who hears you would think the same about your speech.”
I had convinced myself that I “sounded very disabled” because Alexa, our smart speaker, often misunderstood me. This frustration grew into the thought, “My speech is getting worse,” which replayed in my mind until “FA has ruined my speech” became my core belief.
I am working to retrain my thinking about my speech. I try to filter speech-related thoughts through a lens of objective honesty, a healthy perspective that acknowledges the progressively degenerative nature of FA, and biblical teachings. I know that sounds like a lot to consider, but it helps me to stop believing lies about myself.
Yes, my speech is slower, but I have yet to encounter a drive-through employee or a receptionist who couldn’t understand me. It will slowly get worse as my symptoms progress, but it’s fine today. As Psalm 139:14 says, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made,” and as Romans 8:28 says, “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God.”
Maybe my interaction sparked a stranger’s curiosity to research which neurological differences affect speech and balance, and I unintentionally spread awareness. Maybe my slow speech gently reminded someone to slow down and take a breath. Or maybe they didn’t even think twice about my speech.
If I continue to allow myself to think negative thoughts, I will do my confidence, abilities, and future a disservice.
‘Don’t believe everything you think’
Have you heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? The Simply Psychology website summarizes it as “a misrepresentation of reality or guessing at the truth that, in turn, causes behaviors that would end up making this hypothetical into an actual reality.”
I don’t want to get into negative self-talk habits that manifest failure or diminish my enjoyment of life. I don’t want to be a self-fulfilling prophecy cautionary tale.
If I stop and recognize my negative thoughts, I can help prevent them from becoming core beliefs. My mentor, Julie Richard, founder of Fearless Mom, often says, “Don’t believe everything you think,” and I believe that’s incredibly sound advice for everyone, regardless of whether they have FA.
Like the common saying, “Just because it’s on the internet doesn’t mean it’s true,” just because you think something doesn’t make it true.
When my son, Brooks, was struggling with his math homework the other day, he said, “This is too hard, and I’m too dumb to understand it.” I immediately said, “Two things. One, yes, it’s hard, but you can do hard things. Two, don’t talk about my son like that. Brooks is smart and hardworking, and he can do this.”
I’ll leave you with two common sayings: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” and “If you wouldn’t say it to their face, you shouldn’t say it behind their back.” These apply to your thoughts about yourself as much as they do in any other situation. The world will try to knock you down and make you feel bad about yourself — don’t help that agenda along. You are amazing. Keep going!
Note: Friedreich’s Ataxia News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Friedreich’s Ataxia News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Friedreich’s ataxia.
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