I am a work in progress, just like everyone else in this world, so I need to give myself grace. The meaning of grace is essential. Several of my columns, including the previous one, have drawn the conclusion that I should grant myself grace. I wanted to further…
I have been attending a leadership training for people with rare diseases. The training is fueled by fierce moms trying to pave the way for their children to live in a better world full of cures. I am envious of those kids. As a preface, I must say that I…
Last week, I took a slow-motion fall. While transferring from bed to my wheelchair, I tried to reach for something — so I could be quicker — and landed on the floor. I am no longer able to transfer from the floor to my wheelchair. Wendy, my service dog, can…
I’m a regular at my gym. Because of transportation issues — a story for another column — I didn’t get there for about three months. Last week was my first week back. So I had to mentally prepare myself for the questions coming my way: “I haven’t seen you in…
I was transported to a joyful memory while listening to the radio a few days ago. I’m in the home where I grew up, and it’s sunny and cheerful. My sisters, Lisa and Tricia, and I are dancing around the living room, yelling first “I will get by, I will…
About 11 years ago, I visited Voyager Therapeutics. The company was, and still is, working to develop a gene therapy for my disease, Friedreich’s ataxia (FA). My dad joined me on that visit, and we were overwhelmed by the care, respect, and kind curiosity we were shown. It was…
As you read this, I’ll be on my way home to Massachusetts from a family wedding in Georgia. Right now, I’m getting excited about seeing family I haven’t seen in a while. Because I have Friedreich’s ataxia, I use a wheelchair and have a service dog. I hate the…
I sometimes feel afraid to open Facebook. I’m curious about how my friends are doing and what they’re up to, so I log in. Beyond many happy updates, however, I also see that some people in my Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) community are not doing well or have passed away.
Before my neurology appointments, I practiced tasks like touching my forefinger to my thumb, forming the “O” of the “OK” symbol. Part of my exam was, and still is, measuring how quickly I can do that repeatedly. I was determined to excel in my neurological exam. Now, I look back…
Late-onset Friedreich’s ataxia is a rare form of the disease that begins after age 25 and typically progresses more slowly. Though symptoms may be milder, it can still affect balance, speech, and daily life.
Walking my service dog, Wendy, in the winter poses quite a challenge. When I take her out, she’s clipped to my wheelchair, which I use because of my Friedreich’s ataxia (FA). Then she jogs alongside me. Like most dogs, Wendy is thrilled when she knows she’s going out. Wiggling…
On a muggy Fourth of July in Georgia in 1993, my husband, Dave, and I walked along the side of the road, returning to our car after watching fireworks. There weren’t any sidewalks, so I walked on the edge of the road to avoid tripping in the dark while Dave…
Like many of us who get diagnosed with a scary illness, the question of “why me?” ran circles around my head. I chased that voice hard, wondering what I did to deserve Friedreich’s ataxia (FA). The answer I came to and always give that voice in my head is…
When I was diagnosed with Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) in 1981, I was a sophomore in college. I lived in a newly renovated dorm that was wheelchair accessible, and, naturally, a woman who used a wheelchair lived with us. I did everything I could to avoid her. I remember heading…
My husband, Dave, and I had a tough year in 2023, when Dave lost both parents. Our grief has lessened, but we’re still working through it. At times our ability to grieve was blocked because Dave and his siblings were trying to figure out what each parent would’ve wanted in…
Unsurprisingly, after steering my wheelchair into a wall for the fifth time that day, I found myself amid a temper tantrum. For me, these usually involve yelling curse words at Friedreich’s ataxia (FA), the disease I have. In this particular meltdown, I wanted to ram my wheelchair into the…
Today is another brutally cold January day here in Massachusetts. Both my Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) and my wheelchair use mean I don’t spend as much time outside as I’d like. Why? FA limits my outdoor time when it is either super hot or super cold. Right now, the…
Like many people dealing with traumatic medical problems, I vividly remember when I was diagnosed. For me, that happened before they had even identified the Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) gene, so I had to endure lots of difficult testing. Today, the FA gene is identified through a blood or…
“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” is one of my pleasures. I’m intentionally not writing “guilty pleasure” because I don’t feel guilty for watching the show, even though it’s silly and does nothing for me except that I enjoy their petty arguments and hurts. But cozying up with…
Every time I shower, I wrestle with the competing emotions of being a little afraid of a fall and wanting to relax into that delicious feeling of hot water beating on my back. A couple days ago, I decided to embrace my fear instead of pushing it away. Let me…
I recently saw a short YouTube video extolling the importance of accepting that life is bittersweet. In this acceptance, we can become content. If you’ve been reading my columns, you’ve heard me say that I’m happy. I’ve been careful to say that I’m happy overall, not happy every moment.
Note: This column describes the author’s own experiences with Skyclarys (omaveloxolone). Not everyone will have the same response to treatment. Consult your doctor before starting or stopping a therapy. The holiday season is upon us. For many, it’s a time to gather with friends and family we don’t see that…
A couple weeks ago, I wrote that I was planting bulbs in my garden. I’m still doing that because I always buy too many. They’re just too beautiful for me to pass up! OK, I could pass them up, but I indulge myself. Every fall, I feel overwhelmed. But as…
I’ve been thinking a lot about the stories I tell myself about my life, as they can make a big difference in how I feel. Telling myself a productive story has especially helped me in my 43-year journey with Friedreich’s ataxia (FA). As an example, I finally got a…
Last week, I had a bump in navigating my Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) road. The wheelchair I use because of my FA symptoms went offline. I use a Whill C2 wheelchair, and I love it. I’d love not needing a wheelchair a hell of a lot more, but a…
While attending a recent Friedreich’s ataxia (FA) symposium, I tried, as I always do, to take in the science. I’m grateful that the annual symposium, held by the Friedreich’s Ataxia Research Alliance (FARA) and the Friedreich’s Ataxia Center of Excellence at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, always moves…
I recently went to Philadelphia for rideATAXIA, a fundraiser bike ride benefiting the Friedreich’s Ataxia Research Alliance (FARA). The event was followed by a symposium focused on summarizing the current research on new treatments and a potential cure for Friedreich’s ataxia (FA), as well as helping…
Saturday, Sept. 21, was a sloppy one. Skies were gray and rain poured down, but there were lots of smiles to go around. It wasn’t an ideal day for the Race for Matt and Grace, a 5K run and 1.5-mile walk to benefit my patient organization, the Friedreich’s…
I just got back from a walk with my service dog, Wendy. It’s a beautiful fall day in my neighborhood. The mums are starting to burst with brilliant colors, and some of the trees that are a little stressed are developing orange leaves. I had a different topic in…
I just began the process of getting my legacy service dog. A legacy dog follows a current service dog and is super important for those who rely upon these animals for independence. I need a service dog because symptoms of my rare disease, Friedreich’s ataxia (FA), have…
When doing patient advocacy, I’m frequently asked, “Tell me your rare disease story.” My initial response is to sigh on the inside. Why the sigh? After all, I’m fortunate to have been given a platform to advocate for myself and my disease community. But one reason is because I internally grapple…
During a recent drive home from an appointment with my new primary care physician (PCP), I felt a dark cloud dissipate that I didn’t even know was hanging over my head. The sun was shining, and I sang a couple of stanzas along with the car radio. It was my…
Back-to-school season is almost here again. I see advertisements for it everywhere. Kids want clothes with sharks on them, teachers want kids with calculators, and parents want new backpacks (for their kids). Here in New England, the climate changes as fall approaches. The days are getting shorter, the nights are…
I recently read a column by my colleague Ben Hofmeister for Multiple Sclerosis News Today. He wrote that, for him, disability pride is about celebrating the advocates who came before us and who made the Americans with Disabilities Act possible. He also made the point that…
I’ve encountered many sources of frustration over the course of my 41 years with Friedreich’s ataxia (FA). I chuckled to myself as I wrote that line. “Many sources of frustration” seems like a vast understatement. For example, when I was 9 months old, I could walk. I know I…
My husband, Dave, and I have been watching “Red Election” on Hulu. One of the ads we’ve seen repeatedly is for a medication for Dupuytren contracture (DC). DC is a treatable, but not curable, disorder in which one or more of the fingers is permanently contracted. People with DC…
I’ve been saving for a new van with my ABLE savings account because my current one is getting crotchety and old. It’s not breaking down all over the place, but I want to replace it before it gets to that point. If you want to save for yourself or…
Walking my service dog, Wendy, is fun, relaxing, and, oddly, one of the things I do daily that makes me feel independent. Yesterday, the sun was shining down on us even as we inhaled the warm, musty smell of the previous night’s rain evaporating. (I think Wendy smelled the same…
I just finished reading “The Beauty of Dusk” by Frank Bruni. It is largely a memoir of his experience having a stroke that caused partial blindness in one eye. He must also contend with his other eye possibly being affected. In trying to figure out how best to…
Recently I had to purchase shoes. I’ve always loved shoes and clothing, and I feel creative when I select an outfit that reflects who I am. Also, I simply feel better when wearing an outfit that feels like me. Shoes are a big part of that. I remember breaking…
Even after 42 years, I still remember the day a neurologist diagnosed me with Friedreich’s ataxia (FA). He told my parents and me that I had about 16 years to live and six years before I’d start using a wheelchair. Then he had me leave his office and told…
Mother’s Day is a tough one for me. My husband, Dave, and I lost a much loved, wanted, and planned-for baby in 1999. My mom died in 2016, and Dave’s mom died in early 2023. So we decided to honor Mother’s Day this year by going to Portland, Maine.
My husband, Dave, and I love to watch the TV show “Top Chef,” which we stream on Peacock on Friday nights. It’s a little treat to end the work week. We’re usually eating dinner as we watch — not the most mindful practice, but enjoyable. Our…
Almost every morning I wake up intending to eat well. Sometimes I do eat healthily, sometimes not. This sunny May morning I plan to make myself a berry smoothie with lots of healthy stuff in there like flaxseed and Greek yogurt. A healthy smoothie is one of my go-tos in…
I was struggling to transfer unassisted from the couch into my wheelchair when I slowly fell on the floor. I worried that my osteoporosis-weakened bones had broken, even though I wasn’t in pain. Recent experience had taught me that broken bones can be very painful: I’d broken both my…
“He was in a jam/ He’s in a giant clam!/ Rock, rock, rock lobster!/ Down, down …” The B-52s were blaring from the megaspeakers at the crammed party. I was doing my best to join in the dancing madness. I felt I might fall, but also felt…
It was 6 a.m. I was still in bed when my van alarm started going off. Such alarms make me tense, particularly first thing in the morning. My husband, Dave, was up and ran outside to turn it off. In my mind’s eye, I saw him running outside with his…
My mind was whirring at what felt like 1,000 miles an hour. I had a paper due, a doctor visit out of state to plan, a dog to take to the vet, and more. I was swamped. All the thoughts swirling through my head were overwhelming me, and not one…
My dad — a vital yet balding older man with a gray beard and merry blue eyes — pedaled alongside me. We were participating in a rideATAXIA event, one of the main fundraisers for the Friedreich’s Ataxia Research Alliance (FARA). He rode his upright bike, and I was…
I recently complained to my husband, Dave, that taking care of my health is all I ever do. It isn’t, but that’s how I felt at that moment. Dave replied with some version of “I imagine it must be hard, but you’re worth it.” Of course, most of me agrees,…
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